Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Well I just put wine in my tea
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
