Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
