Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
