as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
