are you so shy because you have an std?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
