dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
