Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
