He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
