he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
