I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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