the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
