I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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