I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Randomize
