Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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