she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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