Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
