Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the liver wants what the liver wants
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize