But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
