Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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