I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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