You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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