you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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