is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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