We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
sex in a hospital.. check
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
