Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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