I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
