I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
