rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
