Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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