Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
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