Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
