dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
