That's when you crack a 10am beer
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
