I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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