at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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