Already got asked if we're dating
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
