Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.