do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
