Just fell off a train. Bad.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
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