1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
