Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
