She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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