How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
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