So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
