Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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