im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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