Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
