So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I love you. Go after that dick
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
