If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I AM VODKA MAN
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
