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Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
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Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
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Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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