she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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