Whod you bang
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
