That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
COCAINE IS GR8
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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