dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
