Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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