I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
