wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
