I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
