Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
