guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
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