I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
