capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
