We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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