why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
