I bet he comes in French.
His hands were made for my vagina.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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