Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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