The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
